In the episode Old Dogs, New Dicks Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha all question whether or not they can change a man. Carrie is fed up with Big seeing other woman, and says, “I’m not looking for perfection, just slight alterations.” Miranda is annoyed that her bartender boyfriend Steve expects them to have sex and “cuddle” in the mornings, making her late for work. Charlotte is dating a man who is uncircumcised, and wonders if she can deal with this imperfection. Samantha rejects all of the other ladies criticisms about their significant others stating, “no man is perfect.”
According to Amanda Lotz in her chapter Sex, Careers and Mr. Right in Comedic Drama, “Although it is possible to understand the characters’ pursuit of male companionship as regressive and comparable to stories told about single women thirty years ago, it is also possible to see these stories as explorations of the challenges this generation of women faces in rewriting social scripts of dating and marriage because of the gains of the past thirty years.” Unlike women of the past whose main goal in life was to find a husband, the Sex and the City women believe they have the option to be picky with their choices. Not only do the ladies want to find a man, but they want to find the “perfect” man; they see it as their job to turn the man they are dating into the ideal “Prince Charming”. Being hardworking, independent women, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda, believe they should put forth the same effort into relationships as they do to their careers.
Realizing that changing Big may be impossible Carrie asks, “Was I banging my head against the wall thinking that I could get him to stop and notice me? Did I have to change my expectations?” The fact that Carrie begins to question whether it is the woman’s expectations that have to change represents a more regressive view of femininity. At lunch Miranda asks the ladies, “why is it the woman that has to change and never the guy,” and Charlotte responds, “Because we are more adaptable.” The women have trouble embracing all of the gains made possible by second wave feminism, as they decide to keep dating the men despite them falling short of their expectations. After accidently knocking Carrie out of bed, Carrie finally lashes out at Big stating “I know you cant change a man but I still want something to change…for me” and he ends up spending the night at her place for once. This proves that although men can’t be changed, the woman must alter her expectations so that the man can be slightly adjusted. The episode ends with Miranda and Steve having sex again in the morning, with Miranda being an hour late for work and not even caring. Carrie then states in narration, “maybe you can’t change a man…but once in a blue moon you can change a woman.” Although the idea of the women lowering their expectations may seem counteractive to feminism, the Sex and the City characters are progressive in their ability to construct and alter their own rules of love and dating.
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